With Lent just around the corner, I’m aiming to spend more time before Jesus, before the Blessed Sacrament, and more regularly. Am I a little afraid of such a Lenten commitment? Yes. My fear of failure is considerable, if I am honest.
Am I afraid of spending even 30 minutes in silence before Our Lord, let alone a whole Holy Hour? Sure. I can take my phone with me, which has innumerable resources including Bible translations and prayer directories, but that’s just more “modern stuff” prone to cause distraction.
To get away from the curse of modern stuff, maybe I really need silence in order to hear Jesus. But silence can be so intimidating, with thoughts running through my brain that I desperately wish weren’t so running-aroundish. This dastardly Monkey Mind can be infuriating and exhausting and even embarrassing, especially before the True Presence.
If you’re not familiar with the concept of “Monkey Mind,” it is well-described in this way:
Just as excited monkeys jump from one tree to another, chasing each other, scurrying about all over the place, our thoughts act in very much the same way. There is no rhyme or reason for the chaotic activity in our conscious thoughts and brains, leaving us confused and attempting to make rational sense out of our lives.
I decided to name the “internal monologue of self-talk” which is my Monkey Mind as “Ralph.” Personifying this annoying chatter of self-criticisms and doubts and anxieties and desires somehow makes it a little easier to ultimately dismiss, once I’ve scolded him sufficiently.
What does this have to do with Adoration? Plenty. Allow me to jump-shift for a moment to one extreme. Anyone who has practiced a meditative form of the martial arts such as Tai Chi or Qi Gong knows how crucial it is to center yourself prior to, and during, any exercise. If my Ralph is not dismissed to his room for a timeout, I’m not going to be able to perform well, not only inside my head but also within my body. Inattention due to the Monkey Mind puts me on a short path to physical injury. During my routine, it’s important for me to recognize Ralph’s triggers and work to avoid them, or to at least know how to smooth them over if they arise.
So, if one considers Adoration as a meditative martial art (and there is a corollary for this, in referring to the Holy Rosary as our Spiritual Weapon), then “centering” yourself on Christ is crucial in order for you to “perform” Adoration. But at the same time, Jesus is not a cruel and imposing Sensei, so there’s a bit less pressure. Jesus is patient and kind. Above all, remember that.
Suggestions of ways to center yourself on Christ during Adoration are found in this article by Cathy Webb. She shares five solid ideas on how to approach your Adoration time, to make it as reverent and open to God’s Grace as possible. And all that, without being too hard on yourself. Of her five suggestions, these two resonated with me.
First: just look at each other:
[S]ometimes this is all that is required during prayer. We simply need to gaze at the Lover of our souls and let Him gaze back at us. Jesus isn’t expecting you to perform or be perfectly put together when you come to Him. His greatest ache is for our presence, and when we look at His Eucharistic face, we quench His Heart’s thirst for our love. Likewise, when He looks at us, His pure glance penetrates and widens our own hearts to receive His love in return.
Second: when your own Ralph shouts and bangs on that locked door, just offer it up:
In these moments of distraction, anxiety, or weariness, choose to offer it up, uniting your struggles with the One Who has called you close. It is also helpful to have a specific person in mind during your prayer, so that when those pesky thoughts or emotions intrude, you can move to intercession, pressing that person’s name and needs to the throne of grace.
With these two anchors, I recognize what’s truly important at the time – My Savior, plus those for whom I might be praying – and calmly focus on them, so that Ralph knows he is not going to get a rile out of me when he whines and rattles.
A take-home message here is that your time with Jesus during Adoration should not depend on your emotions of the moment, nor should it be reduced by seeming distractions. Those distractions can be redirected toward grace.
And sometimes, all you really need to do is to just show up. How very unlike the burdens of the real, work-a-day world or family life is that! If you just show up, and offer up your distractions to Our Savior, he will work with them and thereby grow the Body of Christ. Knowing this, for me, is humbling and yet deeply comforting.
Very nice reflection. Mark points out a real conumdrum. As I age, my attention more often goes sideways and it wanders like his Ralph. I used to have discipline from my college meditation days but it has been lost. Ultimately I am reminded that I need to visit the chapel to check in and spend some silent time listening to God. Thanks for the reminder! Steve House
The gazing at Jesus and Him gazing back has really been on my heart the last few weeks. Interesting that others are on the same wavelength. I wish our church had more adoration than just one hour per month! And it's during the day when many cannot attend. What a gift it would be if we had perpetual adoration!